jennyaxe: Photo in black and white. I'm in profile, looking to the left, with a calm and content half-smile. (Default)
Two months ago, the Big Project was mostly finished. I was worn out, as were my colleagues. The difference was that I had about a week before going on to the next project - one not as big, granted, but on the other hand about 90 % of the work would be mine.

Being me, I kept working. I kept working though I got more and more tired, through a few weeks of doing little more than working and sleeping, through a weariness fogging my mind... I realised I needed rest, so I asked for a day off. I didn't get it, because one of my coworkers had already gotten leave that day. On the day I was told this, as I left the office, I took the car out of the garage. Right at the garage doors I swerved right. As Goddess is my witness, I have no idea why I did that. There is no reason to turn right there; it's a straight exit (though a fairly narrow one). The car is scratched along the right side and the back door has a huge dent in it and will need to be replaced.

I got home and sat crying. Some coven members were coming over for a meeting, and they helped cheer me up. The next day I called my boss who told me to take a few days off, which I did. It helped that there was a holiday in the middle of the week after, so with only three sick days I got almost a week off.

I'm back at work again now. Boss has strictly ordered me to make sure to take full hour lunch breaks, and to make sure I take the Thursday morning off to go riding. My colleagues are very supportive and do their best not to lay any pressure on me - though, me being me, I worry that I put too much on them. The new project got delayed and nobody's being upset about it; any complaints are directed to my boss who just tells people that they have to wait. And we've started having morning meetings where we go through all the items in our work stack, and we check off the ones that are realistically possible to deal with during the day - and we don't look at the others until the next morning. That way I can leave work every day knowing that I've done all I should and I never have to worry about the stack of things waiting for me.

Have I mentioned that I really like my boss?

(Yes, I'm also going to get some kind of therapy. Again. Maybe this time it'll take.)
jennyaxe: Photo in black and white. I'm in profile, looking to the left, with a calm and content half-smile. (Default)
We're working on moving stuff to a new architecture, new OS, new versions of stuff and so on. This of course means a lot of figuring out how to make the new systems work the way we want them to. I spent most of yesterday afternoon (and part of the evening) failing to get one of the things to work.

And I just got it figured out and working. Th burst of joy at finally resolving a technical program is a kind of mental orgasm. It's the most fun one can have at an office job without getting fired.
jennyaxe: (samurai)
At the office we take turns bringing buns or something for Friday morning coffee. This week it's my turn, so I made some buns yesterday and brought them in today.

As the first coworkers were coming in, I happened to see one of the office service guys bringing the mail for our flor, so I called to him and asked if he wanted to join us. He did, we all talked a while and then he had to go on with his rounds.

The guy just came by my office with a potted plant. It had a card saying "Here's a small flower as thanks for the coffee and the nice company this morning".

I can't help wondering if the rest of the people in this building treat the office service staff as lowly servants or something, since a small kindness brings such gratitude...


And while I was writing this, the project manager for the current Large Project came by. I showed him the plant and told him to learn - "this is how you should treat me when I've done something good." He replied instantly "Sure, just as soon as you do something good!". I've got to stop feeding him lines like that...
jennyaxe: Photo in black and white. I'm in profile, looking to the left, with a calm and content half-smile. (Default)
I've still got a cold, still spending most of the day in bed, going between "dressed in leggings, socks, two nightgowns and under two quilts" to "dressed in leggings, socks and only one nightgown", as the fever goes up and down.

So I thought I'd get around to posting my notes from when we were at a stress day this Monday. Too many people have been having stress-related problems, and at my current place of work, the management seem to want to do something about it. Something other than firing the persons involved, that is.

Notes )

After my group had finished the thinking and the writing we played hangman in the conference room. I'm impressed with the guy who thought of the words. True, I was the one who first deciphered "proctologist" and "mitochondrie", but I don't think I'd've thought of them if I'd been the one setting the words.

Various

Feb. 13th, 2006 06:55 pm
jennyaxe: Photo in black and white. I'm in profile, looking to the left, with a calm and content half-smile. (Default)
My coworker kindly bought a new E-string for my violin when he passed by the music store, so today I got to practice with all four strings. I managed "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" without it sounding too bad. The cats still don't like it, though. Nor does the wrist that was broken; it hurts like blazes after just a few minutes playing. This probably means that playing is good exercise. Also, I'm somewhat proud that I strung the violin all by myself.

Tomorrow I'm going riding with [livejournal.com profile] gnapp. She'll help me with everything heavy and then walk while I ride. I need to take it slowly as the wrist is far from completely healed and I really shouldn't risk another fall. But I've realised how much the riding means for my health - when I ride, I'm pretty much knackered afterwards and in some pain, but during the autumn I didn't have that constant pain/heaviness in the abdomen. It's been coming back now, though, and there's really nothing else that has changed, I'm not more stressed out or anything. I suppose I really do need that exercise...

Also I'm physically restless. I find it hard to stay focused during a one hour meeting without fidgeting. This is not my usual self.

Yesterday I had a bad headache, so I went to bed early, which meant that I managed to get to work early and also left reasonably early. I've managed to do two loads of laundry (riding clothes and cleaning rags - yay for having a washing mashine!), water the flowers and get some violin practice in. Now I should go clean out the litter boxes so I won't have as much to do early in the morning. The cleaning woman will be here tomorrow and she shouldn't have to deal with that so I need to make sure it's as fresh as possible when she comes. Really, spending those approximately 200 USD a month is the best possible use for that money; I feel so much better not having to deal with the heavy housework and not having to lay it all on Calle.

Calle has made me start writing slashfic. It's not going very well.
jennyaxe: Photo in black and white. I'm in profile, looking to the left, with a calm and content half-smile. (Default)
I'm working on writing a thingy that takes log lines and puts them into various databases.

Of the 3 million lines in one day's logs, there are now only 233 which aren't matched by one of the regexps I've written so far. I think I'll call it a day.

(BTW, how bad is it when you can write a regexp of 16 lines (including some whitespace and comments) and it works straight off?)
jennyaxe: Photo in black and white. I'm in profile, looking to the left, with a calm and content half-smile. (Default)
I've not written much lately; it's been hellishly busy at work and I might post about that later. For now, suffice it to say that we've had some stuff to do that's required working nights lately. During the past few weeks I've put in a lot of over time and I've worked two nights between 01 and 07.

During that same time I've tried not to use the 24 hour depot pain killers, replacing them with the 4-6 hour effective ones I've previously used when the pain has flared up despite the 24 hour ones. It might seem stupid to try this change at such a stressful time, but my thought was that in this way I can adjust the medication to the need for each day (as some days I've basically only slept and others I've been awake for too much), without risking going above recommended total dosage for 24 hours.

And here's the thing - when I look at how many pills I've taken, the total dosage is lower than my previously "normal" dosage.

In other words, even at a very stressful time, I need less painkillers now than I did half a year ago at a "normal" stress level.

I've just spoken with my doctor and we agreed that from now on I can stop taking the depot pills completely. I'll use the smaller pills morning and evening and if I need them during the day. I'll also get paracetamol on prescription so I can try using them instead of the stronger stuff. Also I'll reduce the dosage of the antidepressives.

It seems I'm becoming less ill. I like it!
jennyaxe: Photo in black and white. I'm in profile, looking to the left, with a calm and content half-smile. (Default)
So far this week, my boss and his boss have done very well.

Monday, boss's boss came by saying that he'd noticed I work a lot and asked if he should reassign some stuff to another group. We ended up deciding that I should go through the list of stuff to do for the Project and see what can be postponed and if there's still too much he'll make sure someone else helps out with some stuff.

Yesterday I did the prioritising with Project leader and we postponed quite a lot, so now the list seems reasonable again.

Just now boss's boss stopped by to mention that there was some data lacking in the firewall statistics thingy and asked me to take a look at it some time - "it's not urgent, but if you have a moment sometime this week it'd be good". I told him I thought the problem lay with one of the servers which will be removed by Project and nothing would please me more than to be rid of that one. He asked if I'm OK with the workload now, and as he left he threw over his shoulder that "you should know you're doing a really great job here".

That's a level of support for the staff to which I'm not accustomed. I like this place!
jennyaxe: Photo in black and white. I'm in profile, looking to the left, with a calm and content half-smile. (Default)
When I talked to [livejournal.com profile] cdybedahl about the coworker who made a racist joke, I realised something interesting. None of the other six people around the table followed up with a similar joke. It was just a polite smile and then they passed on to another topic.

That's pretty impressive. Generally, when a bunch of guys hear one joke like that they'll follow up with others of a similar nature, trying to top eachother or something. These guys didn't. Which makes me think I'm not the only one bothered by it, even if I may be the only one wanting to say something.

Shame

Aug. 9th, 2005 01:50 pm
jennyaxe: Photo in black and white. I'm in profile, looking to the left, with a calm and content half-smile. (Default)
Today at lunch I was sharing a table with seven other coworkers.

One of them made a racist joke.

I didn't say anything to discourage that sort of thing or show that I intensely dislike it.

I wish I had. I'm ashamed. I thought I was a stronger person.

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jennyaxe: Photo in black and white. I'm in profile, looking to the left, with a calm and content half-smile. (Default)
jennyaxe

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