Insight

[jennyaxe]

The yoga class was good. It's a drop-in class and they'd just moved to a different place, so I was the only one there. That means I got to talk a lot more with the instructor and she could choose exercises she thought would suit me without having to regard anyone else's needs. They weren't too strenuous, though I think my muscles will be complaining a bit tomorrow. The breathing exercises worked a lot better after an hour's yoga, so obviously something worked.

We finished with a meditation, which included smiling inwards - focusing on different parts of your body and smiling at them. And I got this kind of revelation. I've been speaking of my pain as "the hedgehog" - when I hurt a lot, it's that the hedgehog has its spikes out. It's "the hedgehog" that doesn't like me moving too much and bumping it around, and so on.

The thought came to me that I've been hostile towards the hedgehog. I've been feeding it nothing but anger and dislike. But since I've chosen to view/visualise my pain as a living creature, then it seems to me that it reacts the way a living creature would. If I treat an animal with hostility and anger, then it'll meet me with even more anger and fear.

What if I try to treat the hedgehog a bit better? I don't have to like the way it makes me feel, but it's there, it's not going to go away, so why not learn to get along with it?

Comments

[utterlyjaded.livejournal.com]

Id be very interested to know how this idea turns out...