Sowing and reaping

[jennyaxe]

Today we celebrated Lammas, commonly seen as a harvest festival. It was the first time the whole coven met up since Covid started.

So I've been thinking a lot about harvest, and about reaping what you sow.

What we harvest today is what was sown in our past. The wheat on the nearby field was sown in the spring, the apples ripening on the tree outside my window were pollinated in May. And what we sow now will grow later on. That's the essence of the three-fold law - all we do comes back to us, three times over.

I'd like to extend that law, in a positive way. It's one thing to say "I'll do something good now and it'll come back to me in the future". But what if we also say "someone did me a good turn, so I'll do the same three times over"?

"Someone left me their parking ticket with an hour's parking still to go. I'll do the same for three other people."
"Someone gave me a seat on the bus when I was really tired. I'll do the same when I'm able to stand, for three other people."
"Someone lent me money when I was broke. I'll do the same, for three other people."
"Someone helped me with a place to stay when I needed it. I'll do the same, for three other people."

What we sow, we reap. What good other people sow, let yet others reap. Three times over.

Comments

[dmwcarol]

I don't think it needs to be the same action to count. "Someone helped me, so I'll do what I can to help 3 other people" would also work

[jennyaxe]

That's true!

Still, for some people, it's easier to get the concept if it's a very tangible specific action rather than a general "do good".

This was partly brought on by a person who we gave free housing to for three years who's just given notice of eviction to a family with a child. While it's true that our guest cottage was hardly up to spec and we really couldn't have charged money for it, still she lived there - for free - and with free use of one of our cars, and we didn't charge for the electricity or water or for using our internet connection.

Now, as a landlord, she's got this family of tenants who are behind on the rent, having paid part but not all, for a few times. Their house is also not up to spec, with a door that doesn't lock and where it rains in because it doesn't shut tight, with functional hot water maybe 3-4 days per week (and with no way of knowing in the morning if there will be hot water in the evening), and when the hot water doesn't work neither does the heating. When they complained one time too many and too rudely about not having any hot water, they got told that they pay the debt within 3 weeks or they get evicted.

The deadline is two days before monthly payday, making it very hard both for the family and for the friends of the family to get the money together before then. I won't say that this is deliberate, but it's fucking awful either way.

When the friend lived in our cottage and told us the heating was insufficient, we bought more radiators.

When her tenants told her the heating was insufficient, her husband told them to "bring out their inner viking".

I'm so deeply disappointed and unhappy with the whole situation. I mean, yes, tenants need to pay their rents, obviously. But there are ways of dealing with nonpayment other than "get out in 3 weeks and also fuck you and fuck your child".

[dmwcarol]

Yeah that's really not on. I was more thinking that most of the help that I need/get from others is with things I can't do, for reasons like not having a driving license or not having the physical ability due to the fibro etc. If I had to repay in kind I'd be permanently in debt. Instead I do the things I can do - like organising conventions, making things for people, and getting involved with charity projects.

Sadly I know some people who would take your 3x rule and reason that since they couldn't do the specific thing that was done for them it didn't count. Then there are people who are just selfish and take advantage regardless of any rules.

[jennyaxe]

Right, I see your point! Like back when I was in so much physical pain that it was not possible for me to stand during a train ride, then giving up my seat for someone else wasn't something I could do.

I don't do cons much at all anymore. But remember back in the 90's when I decided to become a unix sysadmin, and several afpers helped out with collecting books and giving them to me? Well, today I'm working with Pink Programming to help people who want to learn programming... It's not exactly the same, but it's still paying forward.

And yeah, there are people who will twist anything to enable themself to feel like a good person without having to actually do the work. There's nothing the rest of us can do to change that.

[dmwcarol]

Changing track a bit, these days I don't really think in terms of the three fold return. For me it's more about being the best person I can be. I want people to think of me as one of the good guys and to eventually be a memory of someone who contributed and made the world a better place.

I have benefitted so much from the kindness of others I'm not sure I could ever have a proper account of how much good I owed. It also doesn't feel quite right to do kind and good things because you think they will bring rewards. I feel that kindness should be it's own reward.

[jennyaxe]

I agree - putting too much emphasis on the threefold return makes it feel very transactional. And if you go out into the world with a transactional mindset, the threefold return would give you people demanding things of you as a right, three times over...

I didn't help my friend with housing for three years because I expected it to be returned. I didn't even do it because I'd gotten similar help a couple of decades earlier. I did it because she needed it, and I could. It's like putting food in the bird feeder - I'm not expecting the birds to return the kindness (though they are very helpful with fertilizer, I must say). I'm doing it because it's the kind thing to do. (Also it's fun to see the magpies training the cats to not hunt by the feeders...)

I'd like my gravestone to read "she made the world a little better". It doesn't have to be a lot, just that there will be some people and some part of the world that is the better for my having been there. Like when we've had a gathering at a place and finish up by the Ritual of Collecting the Garbage, when we all walk around and pick up all the garbage we find, so that the place is left neater than when we arrived.